Can you help me find a nice boyfriend for my cousin?
W. was having a drink with a friend and this wasn’t the first time she was asked such a question.
What kind of boyfriend is she looking for?
Well, she is a well educated young woman, she studied overseas so something similar. I have to tell you though, her family is a bit picky. The boyfriend cannot come from the North East, Henan, Shandong and preferably also not from Shanghai.
Sometimes it’s good that China is a big country with a huge population.
Is this in Beijing?
Comment by China Law Blog — March 28, 2007 @ 11:29 pm
Nope, it happened in Shanghai
Comment by Shanghai — March 28, 2007 @ 11:34 pm
Wait, let me guess:
Not Shanghai cause: “Too Stingy”
Not North East cause: “Too Boorish, Poor, Unfriendly”(take your pick on the NE)
Not Henan: “Criminals” (shouldn’t that either be Hunan or Fujian?
Not Shandong: “Too Lofty”
I once had a gf whose parents were like that, they didn’t mention anything about foreigners (I presume they couldn’t even imagine) so she picked me, later on it seemed they also had an issue with that….
Comment by christophe — March 30, 2007 @ 10:03 am
Those may have been the reasons. I will ask again the specifics.
The good news is that a first date seems to be in the works for the woman with an appropriate man:)
Comment by Shanghai — March 31, 2007 @ 12:15 am
Gemme, I think I deserve to say something on this one, as I do have some good experience on it if you know what I mean.
For Chinese, dating and marriage are closely linked together. Dating is no more the business of two people, but it’s also a business of their parents, sliblings and close relatives.
Comment by Gordon Choi — April 6, 2007 @ 8:41 am
Gordon,
I agree that marriage in “traditional” chinese families is all about parents, siblings and relatives, I can’t actually think of one thing that is not related to these factors, but that is not the point of this short article, the point was that there were geographical restrictions implemented on the places the future spouse should come from, in my experience these restrictions are based on pure stereotypes according to the places these people hail from, not their personalities or true back-ground.
Comment by christophe — April 10, 2007 @ 4:32 am
Hahaha, I am available! Just kidding, I think I am off the list simply due to the fact that I am born in Shanghai.
Well, why don’t they just let her choose? In addition, how old is she? I would assume that the newer generation tends to be more rebellious.
Comment by Ben — April 11, 2007 @ 5:30 am
You have done a wonderful work putting together your work on Shanghai..Thanks for a wonderful resource.
DonPato
GayChina
Comment by DonPato — April 17, 2007 @ 10:31 pm
There is nothing bad for an Asian woman to choose foreign man that will give her security and future. It doesn’t mean that there’s no love at the end of the road. After all, who can say that love isn’t sweeter when you have plenty of food in the fridge, your kids in a decent school with decent clothes, and that every new day is happy day to spend with a nice husband. Why not try our new site chinadarlings.com.
Comment by china love — April 21, 2009 @ 11:26 am
I agree with Ben let her choose who she want to become a boyfriend and get married with. Asian singles are smart and beautiful so they know already what to do when it comes to love.
Comment by Thai singles — July 10, 2009 @ 11:25 pm