Picky Dating in China

Can you help me find a nice boyfriend for my cousin?

W. was having a drink with a friend and this wasn’t the first time she was asked such a question.
What kind of boyfriend is she looking for?

Well, she is a well educated young woman, she studied overseas so something similar. I have to tell you though, her family is a bit picky. The boyfriend cannot come from the North East, Henan, Shandong and preferably also not from Shanghai.

Sometimes it’s good that China is a big country with a huge population.

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10 Responses to “Picky Dating in China”

  1. China Law Blog
    March 28th, 2007 23:29

    Is this in Beijing?

  2. Shanghai
    March 28th, 2007 23:34

    Nope, it happened in Shanghai

  3. christophe
    March 30th, 2007 10:03

    Wait, let me guess:

    Not Shanghai cause: “Too Stingy”
    Not North East cause: “Too Boorish, Poor, Unfriendly”(take your pick on the NE)
    Not Henan: “Criminals” (shouldn’t that either be Hunan or Fujian?
    Not Shandong: “Too Lofty”

    I once had a gf whose parents were like that, they didn’t mention anything about foreigners (I presume they couldn’t even imagine) so she picked me, later on it seemed they also had an issue with that….

  4. Shanghai
    March 31st, 2007 00:15

    Those may have been the reasons. I will ask again the specifics.

    The good news is that a first date seems to be in the works for the woman with an appropriate man:)

  5. Gordon Choi
    April 6th, 2007 08:41

    Gemme, I think I deserve to say something on this one, as I do have some good experience on it if you know what I mean.

    For Chinese, dating and marriage are closely linked together. Dating is no more the business of two people, but it’s also a business of their parents, sliblings and close relatives.

  6. christophe
    April 10th, 2007 04:32


    I agree that marriage in “traditional” chinese families is all about parents, siblings and relatives, I can’t actually think of one thing that is not related to these factors, but that is not the point of this short article, the point was that there were geographical restrictions implemented on the places the future spouse should come from, in my experience these restrictions are based on pure stereotypes according to the places these people hail from, not their personalities or true back-ground.

  7. Ben
    April 11th, 2007 05:30

    Hahaha, I am available! Just kidding, I think I am off the list simply due to the fact that I am born in Shanghai.

    Well, why don’t they just let her choose? In addition, how old is she? I would assume that the newer generation tends to be more rebellious.

  8. DonPato
    April 17th, 2007 22:31

    You have done a wonderful work putting together your work on Shanghai..Thanks for a wonderful resource.


  9. china love
    April 21st, 2009 11:26

    There is nothing bad for an Asian woman to choose foreign man that will give her security and future. It doesn’t mean that there’s no love at the end of the road. After all, who can say that love isn’t sweeter when you have plenty of food in the fridge, your kids in a decent school with decent clothes, and that every new day is happy day to spend with a nice husband. Why not try our new site chinadarlings.com.

  10. Thai singles
    July 10th, 2009 23:25

    I agree with Ben let her choose who she want to become a boyfriend and get married with. Asian singles are smart and beautiful so they know already what to do when it comes to love.

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