Shanghai China Snippets Observations about living in Shanghai and China in general

March 12, 2006

Queen Elizabeth II | Shanghai Cruises

Filed under: China Travel — Shanghai @ 9:50 pm

Shanghai Cruises ElizabethLast Friday the oldest, still [tag]sailing[/tag] [tag]cruise ship[/tag] arrived in [tag]Shanghai[/tag]. For an aspiring international city as Shanghai that should be kind of an event. The [tag]Shanghai Morning Daily[/tag] even published about it on its Saturday front page.

Friday morning we got up early to meet my uncle and aunt from the ship. The week before we had done the research about where the ship would dock, went to the place all the port officials told us to go, had a look around, saw an old custom house, had it once again confirmed and felt confident we were in the know.

We saw nothing at that place on Friday morning. We called, asked around, were on the phone with more people of the port authority and finally got to speak to a person who was rather upset that so many people were calling him about the actual docking place. Luckily he knew.

Back in the car we continued our journey into the far away Shanghai hinterlands.

After an hour driving we found ourselves in the remotest container harbor possible and saw the ship from a distance, a far distance.

We were not allowed to enter the premises, police was abundant as it were a state visit and we waited in vain for some time.

Tour Buses with patrol cars leading the way passed by, but no uncle and aunt in sight. The next best thing we could do was go home.

Luckily we were able to meet up on Saturday as a fax we sent to the ship on Friday was delivered to their cabin Saturday morning.

We had a lovely day after all, ate [tag]Xinjiang[/tag] food, visited the propaganda poster museum and the [tag]Jade Buddha[/tag].

Most cities would love to parade with the fact that they have these kind of cruises visiting. In Shanghai they flaunt it in the newspaper but deem the ship worth the same as a container.

March 8, 2006

China Expat Conversations

Filed under: Shanghai Life — Shanghai @ 10:19 am

China Expats Drink
In the [tag]Face bar[/tag]

Tall, stocky man, early forties.

He chats up a young, in her twenties, French girl.

“I work for [tag]KPMG[/tag]”, very short pause, “Do you know them”.

“No, I haven’t heard of them”, slight giggle.

“They are the biggest accountancy company in the world”

In Rendez Vouz

Young Expat [tag]Chinese[/tag] and a young Slavian girl

“Have you told your parents about us?”, she asks

“No, but I told my dad”

“So, not your mum.”

After which I dig into the best burger you can get in [tag]Shanghai[/tag].

March 7, 2006

Mr. & Mrs. Right For Hire

Filed under: China Culture,China News Soft — Shanghai @ 5:30 am

A female [tag]friend[/tag] once said that she doesn’t want to get married yet (she’s living together) as the pressure on becoming pregnant right away after the big day would be too big.

[tag]Chinese[/tag] parents, especially the older generation, want their children to be secure. Relationships (boy/girl of course), marriage and a baby are the key for this, that’s at least what they think.

Imagine you don’t have a boyfriend/girlfriend in [tag]China[/tag]. That means your parents get a lot of questions from their friend/relatives/neighbours why Ling or Wang isn’t involved yet. Even gossip may start to spread and there is [tag]Face[/tag] to be lost. Is there something wrong?

Resourceful as always some young busy white-collar workers now hire temporary boyfriends and [tag]girlfriends[/tag].

One of them is Kelly and besides faking a relationship, her hired better half has to fulfil a lot of requirements to make this charade stick.

She even created a contract, listing altogether 15 requirements for her temporary beau.

Some of these help you understand why sweet anal Kelly will have to keep on hiring boyfriends.

He should look at Kelly deeply from time to time when in front of her parents and friends.

He should take her hand whenever they go out with Kelly’s parents.

The “boyfriend” is allowed to touch her by the shoulder only in front of her parents and for no more than 5 seconds.

They should keep a distance of at least 0.8 meter when out of the sight of Kelly’s [tag]parents[/tag].

Source: SH Gazette

March 3, 2006

Chinese Business Scams | China Fever

Filed under: China Business — Shanghai @ 6:26 am

Chinese Dumplings Something like this probably happened.

Employee walks in to the office of the CEO, forgetting to knock due to all the excitement.

Employee:

“Mr. CEO, I just got an email from a huge [tag]Chinese company[/tag] and they want us to do [tag]business[/tag] with them and soon”

The CEO’s blood pressure, hearing these words is rising. New energy seems to be flowing into his mind. This is his chance to expand, a chance to break open a new market, sell to multi-million consumers, lift his career to the next level.
But he keeps his cool.

CEO:

“What do they want? Do we know that company”

Employee:

“They invite is to come over to [tag]Guangzhou[/tag] and sign the contract. The amounts they are talking about are really huge. No surprise, as they have so many people there”

I never heard of them, but heck, this is a real opportunity

The employee chuckles after finishing this last sentence, this is really a no-brainer.

The CEO ponders a bit, he doesn’t want to show the employee he would rather be there yesterday.

CEO:

Ok, book the tickets, get me that book, [tag]Murdoch[/tag] recommended, what’s it called , oh right “10 Tips For Guaranteed Success in [tag]China[/tag]”, make some [tag]business cards[/tag] with those [tag]characters[/tag] and buy some presents.

A couple of days later they are in the plane. They had to postpone one day as the CEO went to the plastic surgeon to have an eternal smile fixed on his face. Always look friendly, he read.

Landed they find an impressive delegation waiting for them. Wow, the CEO thinks, these guys are serious. Outside a [tag]Buick[/tag] is ready to bring them to their 7 star hotel after which they are invited to an enormous banquet.

No business is talked yet, he knows about that, first get to know each other. He finally though has the chance to exchange business cards and he feels they really appreciate the fact he studies theirs for at least 5 minutes each.

The next day they visit one of the top notch offices of the [tag]Chinese[/tag] side. Again, Wow.

That evening he gets into a really good talk with the Chinese CEO. The[tag] translator[/tag] is a lovely girl he wouldn’t mind, no he is here for the deal.

The Chinese CEO explains that they are impressed by his company, want to buy whatever he has in stock. The Chinese CEO also explains that as a proof of faith from the foreigners side they like them to contribute to some of the cost they have made.

It seems a bit much, he thinks, but on the other hand it’s normal. This way the Chinese side will know that we are serious on doing business.

The CEO orders the employee to have a considerable amount of money transferred.

This is China, this is how it works, the deal is as rock hard as steel and if this it what it takes to tie up the loose ends, please. Compared what we’ll make on the order it’s peanuts anyway.

JiaoziA contract is signed and on arrival back in [tag]Foreign[/tag] town, the board is waiting for him to congratulate him. We’re in, we’re doing business with China. Who ever said that doing business there is not easy is a fool.

A week goes by and they haven’t heard from the Chinese side as agreed. That’s China, he thinks, give them some time. Another week goes by and the CEO asks the employee to give them a call.

The Employee calls and hears.

“Sorry, the number you dialed does not exist”

The above is fiction but based on a story in [tag]Dutch[/tag] newspaper based on a warning on the website of the [tag]Dutch embassy[/tag] (only in Dutch)

Apparently they have realized in the provinces [tag]Guangdong[/tag], [tag]Yunnan[/tag], [tag]Henan[/tag] and [tag]Guanxi [/tag]that there is a China fever going on. Everything foreign wants a piece of the [tag]dumpling[/tag] and will throw overboard any lesson they learned during their [tag]MBA[/tag].

In a way it makes me smile.

Sources: Volkskrant (Dutch), Embassy of the Netherlands (Dutch)
A related story about doing business in China

Pictures: Dumpling 1 , Dumpling 2

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